I always thought that my online persona was slightly different than my true identity offline. Upon further review, I think that offline Maxwell is not very different from Maxwell online. However, I do believe that I am more self-conscious and selective now than when I was back when I started my social media pages. It’s hard to believe that it has now been a decade since the origin of Instagram. Even though I am more choosy in what I post, I feel as if my posts are showing more of my true self than when I used to make posts regularly. How can this be?
Looking at my old social media posts always gives me anxiety. I was a goofy looking kid with a lot of goofy ideas and opinions. Just recently, I started to truly weed out my old and embarrassing selfies as they either display my personal opinion that may be controversial or show my nerdy old interests and goofy faces. However, looking at my selfies it is evident that I really do not demand to be taken seriously. When I was a middle schooler, which is when I obtained all of my socials, I would always try to come up with something funny to post online, which was true to myself at the time. I was a creative. I still am, I just have little to no desire to share my work on a medium with 887 Instagram acquaintances and 700 Facebook “friends”. I think this says something about who I am today. I was always self-conscious about how I was perceived but I was also oblivious to the random and annoying aspects of my humor that some do not typically find funny. I would make an Instagram post for the sake of making an Instagram post. Now, not so much. I try to keep my socials updated but I feel as if though I have had less opportunities to post amazing content and I believe sometimes I have to outdo myself or reach the ridiculous standards of posting the perfect selfie in the perfect situation.
The selfies listed above I believe are key summaries of how I represent myself. When I take selfies, it is usually out of boredom or to pass some time. Most of my selfies are taken in front of a mirror or in my apartment. I typically do not bear in mind my social status when I take my selfies. However, I am always somewhat reminded of my following before I construct my caption and press send. I have accrued 887 followers on Instagram which includes most of my extended family including my 91-year-old grandmother. In terms of my economical status, I typically do not “flex” my new things/money on social media anymore, at least, not in selfies. I think there is an element of arrogance and insecurity associated with taking selfies for the intent of showing off your expensive clothes. I really don’t post with gender in mind. I used to post pictures of me and my now ex-girlfriend but she was the one typically taking all the pictures. My selfies are usually of myself. I never party and I especially do not take pictures of myself at a party but SELFIE #4 show me and my close friend hanging out at a party. Why did I think the timing was right? No idea. However, being spontaneous and spur of the moment I feel best encompasses a perfect selfie… when it was not necessarily set up or planned.
Disposition has a clear theme in my selfies. As you can see in all of my selfies, I do not smile. All of my life, I believed that my smile was dorky. I still do. However, I think there is much more to this. I typically don’t take selfies seriously even though it looks like I do. So when people typically smile in their photos it is almost a way for me to differentiate myself from others. I think a blank stare is the new funny face. Most people can draw their conclusions of my demeanor not from looking at my face, but at my captions. My captions are typically humorous or simple. My captions are usually straight forward and what I spend the most time on. You can see in SELFIES 1, 3 and 5 that my caption were intended to make my audience laugh or chuckle. Selfies are something I never take seriously because when I am taking them, I feel a little self-obsessed, which is not at all who I am and that’s the reason I do not take many.
In summation, do my selfies produce or obscure my reality? Both. My selfies often share my real and true thoughts. Sharing is often therapeutic and inspires me to try new things. However, there is always a formulaic pattern to my production and I always post with a method in mind. I no longer post opinions about society and I never share the dark parts that make up a noteworthy percentage of who I am. People typically share the happiest parts of their life on social media. It’s always sunny on our social media pages, right?
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